Joshua Marion Ward

By Lauriel Bybee, Rachelle Kimball, Laure Ward, & Steve Ward

So this is breaking from the typical weekly post slightly. But I have had several requests to post the Eulogy from Josh's funeral as well as the talk that my dad gave. It seems appropriate to do that this weekend as it was one year ago yesterday that he passed away. I know it is quite a bit longer than the other weekly posts about cousins, sorry if it seems like he gets more space. Also, instead of sharing a recent picture of him, I am posting a movie of the book of pictures that my family made. The book covers all our favorite pictures of Josh and many quotes by him. We miss you Josh & think of you everyday!

Eulogy by Lauriel Bybee, Rachelle Kimball, & Laure Ward

Lauriel’s Section:
Before Josh was born, my mom had a hard time carrying a baby to full-term. She had three miscarriages right before she became pregnant with Josh. We were very excited when she passed the point where it seemed like Josh would make it and that we would finally get to have a little baby in our home. While we were all anxiously waiting for Josh to arrive, Rachelle had a dream. She dreamed that my mom would have a blond-haired, blue-eyed, baby boy that would be a twin for me. Now if you know my family, you would understand why we all laughed this off. Everyone but me has dark hair and dark eyes with tan skin. But Rachelle was right and Josh was born with a head of thick blond hair and bright blue, twinkling eyes.

Everyone in our family felt like he was a special gift meant just us. Josh changed our family from being a prim and proper family with two little girls. He brought a new level of life, laughter, and energy to our family that had never been there before. For many years when Josh was little, he woke up at 5:30 every morning. And when Josh woke up, he didn’t just wake up, he woke up full of energy and ready to go. Most mornings he rode in the car to take me to seminary just because he was awake and ready to go do something. I am not a morning person, but every morning I would try and eat a bagel and cream cheese on my way to seminary. Most mornings Josh ate it for me and I affectionately called him my bagel boy. From what I understand, most days he still ate a bagel and cream cheese for lunch.

In perfect Josh-style, there is only morning that we all remember when Josh didn’t wake up at 5:30 am. Christmas morning. Rachelle and I were under strict orders that we couldn’t open presents until all the kids were all awake and could go downstairs together. This didn’t bother us too much because we were planning on waking up at 5:30 with Josh and using him as an excuse to get started early. Well five-thirty came, six-thirty, seven-thirty, and finally eight or nine-thirty before Josh woke up and was ready to open presents.

Josh spent most of his time making us laugh and our family has many, many wonderful memories of our time with him. These memories have been bringing us a great deal of comfort as we laugh together, remembering how he made us laugh. I am going to share a couple of those stories with you now. When Josh was really little, before he knew he could fight back and get out of it, Rachelle and I used to dress him up and curl his hair. We had a special name for him when we did this, a play on his middle name, Marion. We called him Mary Ann and treated him like our little doll. Our little doll didn’t last for too many years, but we sure enjoyed that for a while.

Josh also had a great memory, even when he was very young. We first noticed how great his memory was when we realized that he had memorized the license plates numbers of most of our close friends and family and could pick them out in a parking lot. If Josh drove in front of or behind you very often, he probably knew your license plate number too. Josh also liked to memorize animal facts and would often run up, interrupt your conversation, excitedly share a new fact with you, like how fast a cheetah runs, and then disappear again.

Josh was also very mischievous, and he often got a special twinkle in his eyes when he was plotting something especially funny. When he was very young, there were many times that he was found sitting or standing on the kitchen table, dumping out the salt and pepper shakers and laughing hysterically. That hysterical laughter is something that we are all going to miss.

Rachelle’s Section:
When Josh was eight he was baptized into our church, not long after that, our family moved to Toulouse, France. Living in France gave Josh and our family many memories and opportunities. He had the opportunity to learn not only French, but also “British,” as we attended a British international school. On the first day of school, Josh’s teacher asked him to “take the rubbish to the skip.” Josh didn’t know what the rubbish was, or what the skip was, but he willingly took the trash can and wandered the hallways until another teacher directed him to the dumpster. Living in France also gave us the opportunity to travel throughout Europe, but it didn’t matter what museum, monument, or cathedral that we went to, Josh’s favorite part was always swimming at the hotel pool. On one vacation in Germany, we decided to venture away from our typical McDonald dinners, and attempt to eat at a local restaurant. Unable to find anything on the menu, the waiter told Josh and Alec that they had hot dogs…so they ordered. Well their “hot dogs” were actually giant spicy sausages that neither of the boys could eat, no matter how much ketchup they used. Josh’s best friends in France were the missionaries from our church. They were some of the few Americans in the area, and Josh loved the older company. He loved to play soccer with the missionaries; the European influence and the missionaries are what really instigated Josh’s passion for soccer. He would always drag me out to the yard to practice soccer with me; I think he just enjoyed playing with me because I was an easy win. Josh and Alec were on the chess team at the international school. Chess quickly became an obsession with him, (I stopped playing him when he was only nine or ten because he would just beat me,) he and Dad were always battling back and forth.

When Josh was about ten, we moved here to Carnation, this brought on a whole new round of experiences. Josh loved to read Calvin and Hobbes comics. You could walk by his room and hear him laughing by himself as he read them. After reading one comic, he convinced Emma and Alec to flush their feet down the toilet like Calvin and Hobbes. Josh and Alec loved to play air soft guns in the backyard. Josh’s friends Kyle and Camden would come over, and they would all put on their camouflage clothes and have a full out war in the backyard. My mom once came across small holes in Alec and Josh’s bedroom window screens…the perfect size for sticking an air soft gun through; they had been shooting things in the front yard from their beds. When Josh got a little older he thought he wanted to beef up a little; he’d eat protein bars, Emma would always call him “Buffy.” He tried to convince us all to call him “Buffy” because he was so buff. Josh was on the wrestling team, he loved to wrestle. Wrestling didn’t stay at school; it was constantly in our home. Anytime I came through the front door he would wrestle me down, it would take the whole family to pin him sometimes. He was also a runner; he loved to run. He was always looking for a running partner, because no one could keep up with him. He would always try to convince me to go with him by telling me I was fat and I needed to work out; it never convinced me. Even the dog wouldn’t go running with Josh, he knew from experience that it would be too far for him; if Josh got out the leash, the dog wouldn’t budge. I’m going to miss Josh a lot. I will miss his crazy laughter and the light behind his bright blue eyes, I will even miss his wrestling and his beating me up, but I know without a doubt in my mind that we will be with him again.

Laure's Section:
Josh comes from a large extended family with a great support system. He had so many aunts and uncles and cousins that he probably couldn’t name them all, but he knew they were there if he needed them. He was fortunate to grow up having all his grandparents and feeling their love and their leadership and their wisdom.

Josh was also influenced by so many in our community these last few years. For the most part, he enjoyed school and definitely enjoyed his teachers since he moved here in 5th grade. He was a good student at both the middle school and the high school. He was in 3 honors classes this year and enjoyed testing and questioning his teachers, who all patiently helped him open his mind to learning in all the various forms.

Josh loved to be moving and was athletic and loved his sports. His first love has always been soccer. All it took was one friend to join in and he had an impromptu soccer game going on. In middle school he played soccer, basketball, he wrestled, and ran track. These last two years at the high school he played soccer, ran cross country and track, and wrestled. He tended to be very competitive and liked to win. His brother Alec has long complained about Josh’s method of keeping score. The method would change every time so that it favored Josh. We appreciate his coaches and his teammates who helped channel his energy and competitiveness and were an inspiration to him. We know Josh loved his coaches and teammates and felt a special bond to them.

He learned to love running and ran pretty much every day. He liked to push himself and see how far he could go. Once he ran out on the Snoqualmie Valley trail to see how far he could go, but I don’t think he thought about the fact he had to run back too until he had gone too far. He ran 20 miles that day and was really sore for a while.

Through our church, Josh had relationships that became like extended family. Through participating in church activities and service projects and worshipping together, he was loved and taught by many who were like a second family to him. They helped shape his character and values. A church friend led him to participate in a camp in Duvall for children with special needs, which he loved, called the Bridge of Promise. He was anxious to participate again this summer.

Josh participated in Troop 533 of the Boy Scouts. He was doing his Eagle project this summer, making an improvement on the Snoqualmie Valley Trail. Josh went with the troop on many campouts plus 50 mile backpacking, 50 mile bike and 50 mile canoe trips. Again, the influence of his Scout leaders and the other scouts and their examples helped shape his values.

Josh had great friends from church, from school, from classes, from Scouts, and from sports. We appreciate those great associations and the love those friends are showering on our family now. We will feel connected to Josh through his friends and will continue to follow their lives. They influenced his life and now he is influencing their lives.

So many have commented to us on what a great kid Josh was and he was. But there was no doubt Josh was a kid.

Josh loved a good joke, especially if it was him playing a joke on someone else. He laughed long and hard at things, and could burst out giggling or laughing out of nowhere. He didn’t mind being silly and loved playing with children. We liked to watch Madagascar with him because he laughed so hard and giggled so much through it. He loved to play toe tag on the trampoline, as long as he was the winner. He loved to stick his head out of the car going places and feel the air on his hair and face. He loved Spiderman and all things Spiderman. He has his Spiderman boxers and shirt on today as well as his running shorts and shoes and I know he would like that.

Josh had a philosophy of what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is mine. He was always borrowing clothes and music from his friends, and anything good his siblings had.

Josh was always busy, always full of life and kept our house wild and crazy. He was a human tornado coming home, leaving his stuff everywhere, making messes, getting everyone going, insisting on someone playing some sport or game with him. He tended to be forgetful and lose his stuff and not remember when homework was due. Behind his sometimes quiet exterior, he liked to think deeply and talk about philosophy and argue different possibilities. He usually tried to pick a topic he knew might get you going a little and see if you could defend your position. There was truly never a dull moment with Josh.

Teenager life has its ups and downs, and I want you to know that Josh’s life was up these last few months(well except for the week he got grounded for going running to Carnation at midnight when we said no). A week ago Sunday, we went to church together as a family and Josh blessed the sacrament. Last Monday, we had a family soccer game in the evening. Josh and Alec played toe tag and soccer every night. Thursday afternoon he picked Emma up from her friend’s house in Carnation and on the way home shared with her a special spot by the river that he liked to run to and sit and think and draw pictures. Thursday night he played chess with his Dad, said, “Good night I love you guys”, as he went to bed. Friday morning he was off to school, with a “Love ya mom, see ya after school”. We are grateful for that for those feelings and memories.

The scripture on the front of the program is Josh’s favorite scripture. It’s Helaman 5:12 from the Book of Mormon. Maybe Josh liked the talk of fiery darts, but truly we know Christ is the rock we are centered on.

Our family feels all of your love for Josh and for us. I know our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are showing us their love for us through the outpouring of love and support we have received from friends, family and community. Truly God is love and love is being multiplied and exchanged and multiplied again, given and received, here today. Josh is loved by His Heavenly Father and is in his care now. As a mom I’ts hard to let go of watching out for your child, but I know he is happy and being watched out for by someone else now. We received Josh as a gift from Heaven 16 years ago and treasure every minute of the time we had together. While we miss him, we know he is still ours and we will hold him again and see him again and be together again.

Talk by Steve Ward

I would like express our deepest appreciation on behalf of my family for the support and prayers we have felt over the past few days. We have seen and felt your expressions of concern and love in so many ways. It has been an honor for us to be part of this community for the past 6 years. We haven’t fully realized the blessings of it until the past few days. The support and prayers you have had for us have brought great comfort and strength to us. Thank you from the deepest parts of my heart.

You might think it foolish for me, being Josh’s dad, to choose to speak at his funeral service. I certainly can’t think of anything more difficult I have done to date, and I have been praying that I will be able to say the things that I wanted to say without my emotions taking over. I just felt that I needed to personally share some things with you that help us make sense of this tragedy and have brought peace through perspective to our lives.

Life comes with many challenges, some easier than others. It also can bring much joy and happiness. We have certainly been blessed to have so many happy moments together with Josh. We have gained more strength through the challenges and treasure the happy moments by understanding what the purpose of life is.

I want you to know, when you see us in the store, or at sports, or at work, and you wonder how the Wards are doing, you will know that we have peace in the knowledge that I’m going to share. These things come from the bottom of my heart and are very precious to me. I hope they will give offence in no way and will be received with the spirit they are given. What I’m going to share with you we call our Heavenly Father’s Plan of Happiness.

Prior to our life here, we were spirit children of loving heavenly parents. This makes each of you my spiritual brothers and sisters. That’s why, if you’ve been around members of our church, you may hear us use the title Brother Jones, or Sister so-an-so. We try not to use those titles outside our church because we always get that head-cock.

Because of his love for us, our Heavenly Father gave us an opportunity to grow, through our agency and choice, by coming here to earth. Before this life, as spiritual bodies, we didn’t have all of the capacities we do with our physical bodies to experience pain and happiness. By choosing to come to this earth, through an earthly father and mother, we gain a physical body and have the opportunity to experience things which are only possible when the spiritual body and the physical body are together.

The other part of the purpose of this life is to gain experience and to be tested, for us to choose if we will do what will bring us true happiness. It was necessary to draw a veil over the memories of our spiritual lives with our heavenly parents in order to make the test relevant. In other words, it’s a closed-book test for us to choose what we will become.

The choices we make in this life do affect who we are to become and can affect the lives of those around us, for good or for bad. It was paramount that he gave us agency to choose. Our Heavenly Father knew that we would make mistakes, not only mistakes that affect our lives but that affect others as well. So He sent His only begotten son in the flesh, our spiritual brother, Jesus Christ, the only perfect man to have walked the earth, to pay the price of our mistakes and to give us an opportunity to overcome our sins. Again, overcoming these mistakes is by our choice, by our applying what we call the Atonement of Jesus Christ in our lives. The Atonement is the finale, if you will, of the mission of Jesus Christ here on the earth, where he overcame the effects of sins that we would commit, and of death, in order for us to be able to be reunited, spirit and body, with our Heavenly Parents after this life.

The Atonement reconciles us to God and allows us to return to him, both in this life by regaining his Holy Spirit, and in the next life by actually living in his presence again. We apply the Atonement in our lives by taking upon us the name of Jesus Christ through baptism by the priesthood of God, committing to pattern our lives after Christ’s, and sincere repentance when we make mistakes.

Now if you think about this, there is a big question unanswered: What about all of those people who have lived on the earth that have not even heard the name of Jesus Christ? I know that Heavenly Father loves each and every one of us and will judge us fairly, based on the knowledge that we have. He provided a way for us to make some important decisions after this life.

This is where our temples come in. You have likely seen one of our temples off of I-90 in the Bellevue Eastgate area with the tall white spire and the guy with the trumpet on top. One important thing that occurs in our temples is the work that is done for those who have not had the opportunity to do it in this life. This work is done in our temples by proxy, and those who have passed on are free to accept or reject it. Our temples provide the opportunity for those who have had not had the opportunity in this life to apply the Atonement, to apply it in the next.

One other important aspect to our sacred temples, which gives our family great comfort at this time, is that families our sealed together. By being sealed we are promised that if we are faithful to what we have promised our Heavenly Father, we can be with our families forever. You might recall the simple song we sang as an opening song, Families Can Be Together Forever.

What happens after this life and where is Josh now? I know that Josh still lives, as a spirit body in what we call the Spirit World. He and my earthly father, who passed away several years ago, and was there to greet Josh, will be working to bring the knowledge of the Atonement of Jesus Christ to those who do not have it.

They will be in the Spirit World until the resurrection, when all who confess that Jesus is the Christ, will have their perfected body reunited with their spirit. They will then be rewarded according to what they have become, according to the desires of their hearts, according to the choices they have made with the knowledge that they had. It will be the same for each of us. We have the opportunity to live with our Heavenly Parents, with our savior Jesus Christ, and with our families.

This, my brothers and sisters, is our Heavenly Father’s Plan of Happiness. This is the good news of the Gospel of Jesus Christ:
• To know that that this life is not the beginning, nor the end;
• to know that we chose to come here knowing that there would be challenges and heartaches with great opportunities;
• to know that there is a purpose and plan with this life;
• to know that we have Heavenly Parents that love us and that we can return to;
• to know that Jesus Christ, the key to making all of this work, paid the price necessary for each and every one of us to be reconciled to God and be forgiven of our sins.
It makes all the difference in my life to know these things are true. This is what brings my family peace at this time in our lives.

You’ve probably asked yourself at this point, how I can know these things. The knowledge didn’t come easy. I had to work for it. I had to search and pray, and test principles that I have been taught. It not only makes perfect sense to me now, but more importantly the Spirit of God has born witness to me that these things are true. I have no doubt that if you are sincerely searching for truth, through effort and prayer, you can also come to this same knowledge.

So when you see us in the store, or at soccer or track with our kids, please know that we are at peace. We will miss Josh for a time, but if we are true to the things we know, we can be with him as a family, forever. I hope if you have questions about what I’ve shared with you, that you will feel like you can ask me or one of your other friends and neighbors that have this same testimony.

We have been blessed that for 16 years, most of the choices Josh made were good, that the desires of his heart were good. We’ve also have been blessed in the past couple weeks to have a great relationship with him, which is not always the case between parents and a teenager.

I am so very proud of you Josh. I will miss that exuberance in your eyes, when you laugh like a two year old, and your tender heart and empathy for others.

It may seem hard to believe when you’re Josh’s age, but there’s not likely anyone else on this earth that loves you more than your parents and who want you to be happy and successful. We as parents, with our many imperfections, have the sacred responsibility to guide and correct our children when necessary. It may seem to you that we are trying to keep you from having fun. I hope you understand a little more now that we are trying to guide you and keep you safe. We want your happiness. It really works the same way with our Heavenly Father. He is not trying to keep us from having fun; he loves us and wants us to be happy. He has told us what to do in order to be happy. In the end, it’s really our choice.

We’ve had so many small miracles from the Lord these past few days. Just one example: you might think I didn’t get anything for Father’s Day from Josh. Not so. Last week, Josh wrote me an online Father’s Day card that would be delivered this past Sunday. This isn’t like him to not procrastinate until the very last moment and then scribble something out on a piece of paper. It has been one of the many small miracles and tokens of love from our Heavenly Father that we have recognized over the past few days.

Again, from the bottom of our hearts we want to express our gratitude to you for your support. We have taken so much strength through your prayers and support. We have an open invitation for his friends from school, cross country, wrestling, track, whatever, to come by our house. It brings us strength and peace to know his friends a little bit more and share experiences with you, to know how he’s touched your life.

I humbly leave these things with you in the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen.